In spite of
the growth of adoption studies and
adoption science since the early part of the twentieth century,
remarkably few researchers before 1970 considered adult adoptees
a significant source of knowledge about adoption. Jean Paton was
an important exception to this, surely because she was an adult
adoptee herself and the founder of an early search organization,
Orphan Voyage. Her 1954 book, The Adopted
Break Silence, began the process of publicizing adoption
narratives and mobilizing a new social movement devoted to promoting
search and reunion, revising
confidentiality and sealed
records, and other reforms. This excerpt is drawn from a small
study conducted by Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota. The agency
hoped to improve the information and preparation it gave to adoptive
parents on the basis of reflections shared by twenty-two adopted
adults ranging in age from 20 to 45.
What are the adopted person’s feelings about illegitimacy,
especially during the adolescent years? What thoughts may an adopted
person have if he knew that his biological parents were married
when he was placed for adoption?
The discussion of illegitimacy elicited varied reactions and feelings
from the group. Several generalizations can be drawn from the discussion,
however.
(a) There was a definite difference between the feelings of the
men and the women in the group. On the whole, the men did not seem
to have strong feelings about illegitimacy. They felt that it may
have been the circumstance of their birth but this did not affect
them significantly as individuals. Some of the women in the group
shared these feelings, but most discussed the subject with considerable
emotional involvement.
(b) Most felt that the adopted person may know intellectually that
his birth was illegitimate, but the person does not feel
illegitimate.
(c) Several women in the group had strong negative attitudes toward
unmarried mothers, in general. However, very few thought of their
own biological mother in this way. As one woman remarked, “she
was a good, Christian girl who made one mistake.”
(d) Several older members of the group recalled the stigma of an
earlier time which illegitimacy carried. Because of the derision
which they endured when younger, some wondered if they did have
a “moral weakness” or if there was such a thing as a
“bad seed.” Most felt that the state of knowledge and
cultural attitudes today is such that this is no longer a problem
for adopted children, or at least that it is a minor concern.
(e) Several women recalled that, during adolescence, they wondered
if they might repeat the mistakes which their biological mother
had made. For some, this caused confusion and concern in handling
sexual thoughts and desires and they had difficulty relating to
boys. However, the group felt that, in most instances, an adopted
child’s feelings about illegitimacy might intensify rebellious
behavior during adolescence but would not be the sole cause of it.
In general, the group felt that the knowledge that the biological
parents were married when a child was placed for adoption is more
difficult to accept than the fact of an illegitimate birth. Knowing
that one’s parents were unmarried, perhaps quite young and
unable to care for a child, is less threatening than knowing that
a married couple did not want a child or perhaps mistreated it.
In our culture, the group stated, illegitimacy is more understandable
and easier to accept than parental irresponsibility or cruelty.
Whatever the circumstances of birth, the group felt that this information
was not necessary for the adoptive parents or child to have.
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