Spew
On The Apostle
I call myself the Holy Ghost Street Sweeper' gotta clean 'em up!--Former pop icon M.C. Hammer, preaching in a one-time-only appearance at the Lighthouse Temple at 18th and Charnelton. Until he got this gig, he probably was a street-sweeper, at least of the secular variety.
There are people working in very dark capacities, and we need the Lord to help us bring down these strongholds. The police can't help us. This is spiritual warfare.
--Hammer, Lighthouse Temple. Bankrupt, delusional, and the police won't respond to his calls anymore. This just gets more and more depressing.
On Please Don't Hurt 'em
I don't know, maybe I'm nuts, but...--ConCourt grievant and controversial mainstay Scott Austin, talking with the Commentator. Scott Austin? Crazy? Get out of town. (Read about the inevitably resulting grievance in the next issue of the OC.)
Of all the people to put on your "don't fuck with me" list, I'm number one.
- Your favorite student activist and ours, Scott Austin, on his role in the lives of student government wonks. It's a dirty job, and luckily someone's crazy enough to do it.
On U Can't Damn This
I like rollin' with Jesus.--Still more Hammer. It's a good thing that Hammer isn't the brightest bulb on the tree, lest this statement land him in hot water with the Church. Viva la equal rights!
I'm an old-school-Pentacostal-praise-Jesus-Holy-Ghost preacher!
--Hammer, for the last time. No, Hammer, you're a washed-up-delusional-old-school-rapper turned evangelist because they won't let you wear those parachute pants anymore.
On Fiscal Responsibility
I think the OPS is part of the institution that helps the campus and provides safety. That's why I think the money should go to the public safety.--Ken Ko, outlining his vision for the future of student incidental fees in the Nov. 30 Emerald. With a major in public policy and that kind of logic re: the student's money, Ko is a shoe-in for Student Senate should he ever want it. Elect Ko '00!
On Student Activism
I will go as far as I have to, to stop the WTO.--Senator Spencer "By the rules" Hamlin, speaking out in Political Science 275. If he can't even figure out who is and is not a student group, what makes him think he can overthrow the entire World Trade Organization? (The Napoleon complex rears its head once again.)
On Pre-Millennium Tension
"Does My Son Need an Exorcism?"--Title of an advice column in the December '99 Signs of the Times, a national publication for apocalyptic hopefuls. Yes, yes he does. Give him a gallon of Red Rum and spin him around like a top. The spiritual whirlpool effect will force Jesus to make an early return. Shall we meet at the river?
Stockpile the "oil" of the Holy Spirit.
--Signs' guideline number four for Y2K preparedness. This is of course a publication published by the sect that spawned the Branch Davidians. (You have two possible ways of reading this quote. Enjoy.)
On Japanacrap
I'm secure enough in myself to admit that I'm an anime-geek.-Mason West, Emerald columnist and the closest thing to Vince Medeiros this year's editorial board could come up with. He's a close match, but it's just not the same.
I admit to being quite a big Dragon Ball fan, and if you have any questions you can ask me personally, but no Sailor Moon questions please. Sailor Moon is for girls.
-West, continued. Question #1: Why do you watch such insipid crap? Question #2: No, really, why? Question #3: Just how secure can you be when you digress from your searing criticism of popular culture to distance yourself from a product aimed at girls? Well?