Editorial

The State of the Publication Address

This is the first term of the rest of your education. Fear not: there's booze to drown out the piercing screams of your inner demons. And another year of the OC.

Every year, we take a step back for perspective (and to regain our footing) and ask ourselves the same damn question: what are we going to do with the approximate 450,000 sheets of #50 bookstock annually allocated to us by the ASUO?

We must admit that our first instinct is to trade half of it for rubber cement and tapioca, roll around in the resulting glop, and run around campus, free of the burdens that our non-paper/adhesive/pudding society steadfastly-nay, ignorantly-holds sacred. This however, is strictly taboo, and we're not likely to admit to this in person. It also leaves us with a lot of blank pages.

This being the Commentator, someone at the first meeting usually suggests that we blow the whole thing on booze. This usually results in hours of debate over a bottle of Jim Beam and Bombay Sapphire-ginskey, as the wise ones used to call it. After which we are already drunk (not that we weren't before), and we've forgotten where we are.

Generally this does not happen on University property, but we're not perfect.

For the past sixteen-odd years, we've decided to continue printing magazines because, if for no other reason, it's what we did last year. Not to mention the year before that.

On more than one occasion, we've weighed the option of changing to a glossy, all-color Dave Frohnmayer fanzine. Dave Gets a Haircut, Dave Eats at the Carson Cafeteria, Dave Sits in on a Writing 122 Class; that sort of thing. However, it's not quite our raison d'etre. The truth is, we're surprised that popular demand has not spawned such a magazine. Years ago, we almost went to an all-Myles Brand format, but it just didn't take.

Every year, the answer is more or less the same. Last year, we jettisoned our preoccupation with student government and revamped our layout. This year, we're in store for a few more tweaks. The changes shouldn't be too much of a difference from previous years. We're not talking about a New & Improved Oregon Commentator--Under New Management! here; things aren't that drastic. The magazine will be more or less the magazine that it has always been, though hopefully a little stronger in some respects.

The Oregon Commentator Publishing Co., Inc. hereby resolves to:

1) Aim for legitimacy. As one of our editors remarked in a drunken fit of rage, "It's about goddamned time there was another voice of fact on campus to compete with those arrogant punks at the ODE." Less ranting, more investigative journalism.

2) Increase our visibility. The aim is to be a household word around the campus. This generally means more pranks, more pervasive stories, and some measure of publicity. Details forthcoming.

3) Put out magazines on a semi-regular basis. This we've done before. We think we have a handle on the situation.

Thanks for listening. Next year we'll try to keep it brief.