Nobody Asked Us, But...
The Fox and the Clowns
The OC's disharmony with the Sociology department struck a new false chord this week when our AP columnist was accosted by an unidentified faculty member, moments after delivering copies of our last issue to the seventh floor of PLC - just outside Julia Fox's office, as fate would have it.According to this irate Marxist-by-default, the Commentator is composed entirely of "undergraduate punks" who have no concept of the consequences of their actions, and that we bear some responsibility for a death threat Ms. Fox allegedly received last week. The OC is officially appalled: appalled at Ms. Fox's irresponsible in-class defamation of our fine publication, which started this whole imbroglio; appalled at the indecency of any buffoon who might sink to death threats (if you are among our readership, moron, you are officially disowned); and especially appalled at the childishness of a member of the Sociology department who would hurl insults at an otherwise sympathetic student. Shame on all of you.
The word on the grapevine is that last year's Professor of the Year Award recipient has had enough of this cesspool, and will now be leaving us to our own devices. We'll miss you, Foxy.
Roselio Goes Bananas
On May 24th, Roselio Reyes, a former Nike plant worker and current labor activist, spoke to a crowd of 150 people in the Knight Law Center. While the majority of Roselio's speech played into the hands of the anti-Nike sentiment, there was one major point that Roselio made that was missed by many people there and lacked coverage in the Emerald. "When the students are buying these [products] they are supporting the families in the Dominican Republic whom have no other means of employment," Roselio said. "If we boycott these companies and stop buying their products they'll simply close down the factories."What Roselio would like to see is an improvement in the working conditions in the plants, not a boycott. He asked students to buy the products so that students will wear them and in return the workers get a paycheck. No Nike, no jobs. We at the Oregon Commentator are working to put food on these people's tables by wearing our Nike shoes. What are you doing?
Knob Creek Blues
Not to worry, the South University neighborhood is safe and secure. Especially since the EPD has now decided to take their actions to private property.Early on a Sunday morning, (according to the officers on the scene) somebody apparently decided to steal gas from vehicles in the area - that, or they were breaking into a van. The EPD wasn't too clear about that part. Hell, they could have been harvesting kidneys. Either way, whoever it was got away clean while the EPD spent about half an hour hassling an OC staffer and a fellow boozer, asleep in his own back yard. Credibility lost again. Here they were, completely assed out, right in the middle of an open yard with two pillows and a bottle of Knob Creek brand quality whiskey. The sleeping perpetrators were rudely awakened by obnoxious flashlights and a short-tempered police K-9. Including the dog, there were five of them - you know, the usual overkill.
After the typical bombardment of copper jack moves, the friendly drunks were free to go about their business. That is, after an official commendation on their choice of whiskey. They may not have been straight, but their story was. Ah, Eugene's finest hard at work.
Things to Do
1. Sue your landlord. He/she deserves it, don't they?2. Visit Nerve at www.nervemag.com for your coital position of the day.
3. Drink. The year is over. You've earned it. Come to think of it, you've earned a hit off a crack pipe. It's up to you.