Editorial

All You Need is Hate

When you come down to it, hate really is the best policy.

John Lennon also said a lot of very absurd things in his day - anyone consuming as much LSD as he was can only be allowed at least a few non sequiturs - but far and away the most ridiculous thing he ever said was "All you need is love."

There is first the fact that the song is one of the Beatles' most annoying recordings. The lyrics as a whole are particularly insipid: "Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. / It's easy." is hard to call impressive unless you're heavily under the influence of psychotropic drugs. Anyone who's familiar with the song is often given to imitating the inane horn section with pursed lips: "wah wah-wah wah-wah," in a derogatory manner.

Never mind the cloying melody of the song, though - it's also his most wrongheaded. Contrary to Lennon's naive reassurance, love is not going to get you very far in the world, except maybe to the nearest hospital - or morgue.

"Love" and "Hate" are absolutes, and absolutes can be very dangerous, especially in the rhetorical terminology in which these terms tread.

The world does not love. The world hates. More specifically, it hates you. If the world loved you, would you be at the University of Oregon? Think about that one. Would you be sitting here in Eugene, Oregon reading a student magazine dedicated to hate?

In recap, the world hates you. Therefore, you should hate the world. Simple human reasoning shows us that love is at best an iffy proposition. Hate, on the other hand, is a sure bet. If you love and the world hates, then, left to its own devices, the natural order of things will more than likely destroy you. You will at the least be subject to the painful barbs of the world's never-ending supply of hate, which will gradually disintegrate your love into a callous hatred with enough time.

Hate and love are subjective terms. Who what hate or love really are? People ask occasionally if someone is in love, but can anyone really tell? People often know without a doubt that they hate someone, but they have a very hard time determining whether or not they love someone.

Love is a touchy-feely subject that you were taught to value as a child, but it's an emotion left largely undefined. Who really knows what love is? Some of our society's greatest minds have tried to grasp the idea of love, only to fail.

Hate, on the other hand, is palpable, real and potent. Hate is a definite subject; hate is true. Hate will not leave you standing at the altar, while love will gladly lead you down a dark, seedy alley at 2am and leave you to fend for yourself.

To recap, the world does not love; it hates. If you hate and the world hates, then at least you are on equal ground. You are given a fighting chance against the cruel reality that is the modern world.

If you hate and by some oversight on its part the world happens to love, then you are in the free and clear. While it keeps trying to "understand" you and unconditionally "feel" for you, the hate can flow from you without recourse. You automatically have the upper hand.

A mathematician could probably work out a proof to explain this, but the logic speaks for itself. When you hate, you can win. When you don't, the best you can hope for is to break even. There is no going wrong with hate; it is a win-win proposition. Hate really is the best policy. Now get out there and hate. We know you can do it.