Nobody Asked Us, But...

Voice Produces Laughs, Humor

"I thought it was very funny," Publisher Jonathan Collegio said, commenting on an issue he helped produce. "I laughed."

Although there still remain a few kinks to be ironed out--especially in regards to the usefulness of the 'Special' Staff--the magazine's leadership remains hopeful.

"Too many fat kids," Editor-in-Chief Ed Madrid noted. "But they can probably lose weight. I tell you what though, they are pretty fat."

As the magazine prepares for its next issue, due out around February 3rd, the leadership still takes a little time out every day to reflect on the glory of the "Venus De Milo Issue."

"Maintaining that degree of wit and humor for 24 pages was extremely taxing," Managing Editor Tamir Kriegel remarked. "But quite frankly, Frank and Rick are cleansing my colon right now, and I love it. Please don't distract them."

Collegio, Madrid, and Kriegel plan on retiring from the Voice's staff and forming an alumni advisory board, leaving the bulk of the magazine's production to Autumn Madrano and Niki Stojnic.

"They're good folk," Collegio said, commenting on the new leadership. "I've never met them, but I'm drunk right now, and everyone's good folk when I'm drunk."

In the latest issue of Weekly World News, the atrocious, unfathomable image reproduced above [Coming soon. -Ed.] ran as a cover photo accompanied by the headline: "Brick Wall Defaced by Local Graffiti Artists." Thanks to some in-depth research by OC staffer Horace Pleak, it has come to our attention that the WWN missed the story completely. According to police chief Stan Seals, "Local graffiti artists are not to blame for the "Poop" graffiti. The wall was actually defaced by a visiting high school basketball team playing our beloved Sheldon Irish."