Spew
On Fact Checker? No!
You made a mistake. The myth of Sisyphus was not written by Sartre, it was written by Camus. So you are obviously a Dung Beetle. Bye-Bye... Maybe you should pay more attention to learning than complaining about it.--Call made from Law library. You may be right. We have one response, courtesy of Mark Twain: "The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it." Better paraphrased as: thou shalt burn in hell, nerd-boy.
Hey, Dipshit! Most freshman love the meal plan-don't knock what you don't know about-if you research before you write then you would know that it was a lot worse last year.
--Note left in Commentator box. We are truly sorry. We thought we knew what we were talking about, but now that you've shed light on the "a lot worse" angle, we concede. The meal plan is fantastic! The point system kicks the old plan's ass! ¡Viva La Revolucion!
On Media Bias
I had the opportunity to meet Scott Austin earlier this evening. He was a very bright young man, but he looked like he belonged in high school.--95-year-old KVAL news anchor John Doyle on UO Student and former State Senate candidate Iron Scott Austin. Just another example of the utter racism and liberalism in the media today. What next, John? What next?
On Freaking Sorority Girls
Why can't all the girls at our sorority house be pretty?--Overheard on 13th. Because your house is probably more homely than the average house. Maybe you should spend more attention to learning than complaining about it. (see Fact Checker? No!)
Girl 1: I have to take on 11 fraternities tommorow.
Girl 2: How long is that going to take?
--Overheard. Hey selfish girl, how 'bout sharing some of your
prosperity with the homely sorority next door!
On Squid Men
I think all American citizens should be armed.--Gary Coleman in People magazine. Don't mind Arnold, he's just in the middle of a very messy divorce case with his parents and is raising a super army of midgets to conquer the Earth. No big deal.
On Occupational Hazards
In West Palm Beach, Jake the Snake had a python that weighed 200 pounds. He used to take it in the shower and punch it, so by the time it got in the ring, it was mad. It pissed all over me. Man, that sonofabitch was scary.--Stone Cold Steve Austin, in the November 3rd Newsweek. Serpentine urine might suck, but trying going against Arnold's elite militia of armed super midgets pointed at conquering the Earth.
On Medeiros De Sade
It's always filled with lustrous and sweaty people, it's got a ton of looking glasses to caress the ego of those big, buff boys...--Emerald columnist Vince Medeiros. Issues, man. Serious issues. No seriously, sweaty people and buff boys? Look, there's nothing abnormal about it, but next time try telling your parents first.
Even a good friend of mine who used to do all sorts of freaky shit and
indulge in some very dirty and unhealthy perversions has turned into a
fitness nut now.
--Vince, again. Oh, that's what you meant! We thought you were
talking about working out.
On Throwing Stones
When reading this headline, you have to look for what the writer has wroten.--Carl Bybee, top-notch Journalism professor. That's a good point, Carl. But next time, when you look for what the writer has wroten, make sure it's not wroten wrung. You say potatoe, I say...
On Last Week's Winner Again
Who is that girl? What a dipshit!--Art Alexakis, lead singer of Everclear on ASUO president Geneva Wortman, overheard in EMU Amphitheatre. Yes, he really said this. And we think it's so poignant, revealing and brilliant that we're allowing it to grace these pages once again.