Spew
On Cheap Thrills
We go to [Jeff Fahey's] table and say "Come on guys, everybody do the Jeff Fahey dance." Then we do this really fucked up dance. He gets really pissed off.--South Park co-creator Trey Parker relating how he finds inspiration.
Then we sing to him, "Jeff Fahey, Caveman Warrior from the Future" or
"Jeff Fahey, Lesbian Caveman from the Future Bus Driver" like themes from the television shows he could be in.
--Parker saying more things about Jeff Fahey.
On Original Sin
I'm just a man, no more, no less.--Student Senate Vice-President Kent Black whilst attempting to get jiggy wit it.
On the Obvious
It's important that the resident directors do other parts of their job like interact with their staff.--UO Housing Director Mike Eyster. Yes do your jobs, do it, DO IT! Ahh, you bastards!
On Clarity
Hoeeeee! Yeah, heyyyy, de haaaaa/Hoe, ohhaowwohh!/Hoeeeee, de heyyyy/De, haaaahhhh/Hoeeeee! Yeah, heyyyy, de haaaaa Ahahaahaaah--Ol' Dirty Bastard, in his seminal work, Dog Shit.
On Anaphora
Hey, baby, I like it rawww/Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!/Ooh, baby, I like it raww/Yeah baby, I like it RAWWW!!!--Ol' Dirty Bastard, in his autobiographical masterwork, Shimmy Shimmy Ya. Anaphora is the repetition of a word or phrase for emphasis fruity-boy.
On Inventing the Wheel
Professor Cornel West argues that America has a history of white supremacy.--Incisive subhead to an Emerald article about Professor West's visit to campus. Let's hope he has some evidence to back that outrageous claim.
On Sheer Terror
See the artwork of one of today's brightest young artists.--From a Beard Frame Shops advertisement for Chris Hutchinson's ground-breaking, if baffling and mildly psychotic, artwork at VRC.
On Love
The house has become dependent on you, so I'm going to duct tape you into this room.--Resident Eugene genius, Dylan Hallstrom, showing his understanding of reality, faith in the magical silver tape, and his concern for the impending invasion of China led by Tetsuo the Ironman.