Editorial

You Are So Beautiful

Apologies are few and far between in Room 205 of the EMU. You may want to have this one framed, or at least entered into evidence.

Sometimes at the Commentator, we find ourselves defining the word 'funny' as: that which makes at least one person other than the author laugh at any spoken, written or illustrated piece of communication. We generally have only members of our staff in the office when we write many of our last minute witticisms, so we have less than a random, representative sample of students from which to glean these jokes. As a result, sometimes those jokes are simply not funny.

And sometimes, they are not only unfunny, but they are also in poor taste. Elaine Green, for instance, has won a Commentator award for several years because of our fixation on facial hair. Years ago, one Caitlin Twain, a woman, won our Man of the Year award. One back page listed stories we would have done if we didn't think we'd get sued. Unfortunately, many of these jokes are dated, and the explanation can't be done in the short time that you wait for your class to start, or the light to change. Just take our word for it: it was funny, and it was crude.

Last year, we outdid ourselves. We printed a secret message (you know where it is) and a Commentator award that reached new lows of inappropriate humor. You see, that's the thing about the First Amendment. Just as it defends the rights of great patriotic orators to speak out about injustice or democracy, it also protects the town idiot and Larry Flynt. We weren't nearly in the same league as Mr. Flynt, you understand, but we were at least hanging out too much with the town idiot.

And to make matters more interesting, the comments were made about a former member of our staff, a former drinking buddy, a former friend. This person had left the Commentator to work first for another newspaper, and then for student government. Her name is Autumn De Poe, and the comments we printed hurt her enough to cause her to file a Student Senate Grievance Report against the Commentator and its publisher.

The complaint cited the new sexual misconduct provisions in the Student Conduct Code as the sections we had violated in printing our idea of 4am humor. She called it assault and harassment. And as the ASUO Communications Director, she was able to call upon the support of the ASUO Executive directly. The Commentator met with the ASUO Executive to discuss the comments and to attempt to resolve the issue. After a lot of discussion, accusations, suspicion, calls to action and even some tears, the decision was made. We would apologize, and we would offer Autumn the opportunity to tell her side of the story in 600 words, which we would print without restriction. That resolution was accepted by the ASUO, and by Autumn.

From that time to this, we have been waiting for Autumn's column to appear in our mailbox or in our e-mail. We have heard nothing from her. But the time has come for us to own up to what was hardly, as our illustrious Editor Emeritus said, the zenith of Commentator with, with or without Autumn's participation.

We apologize. We apologize for our evidently low standard of humor on that night; for our apparently erroneous belief that her position as ASUO Communications Director might make her a public figure, and for any hurt that we caused Autumn or her reputation. We certainly never anticipated the reaction we received. But maybe that's because we're used to making the occasional juvenile joke or questionable remark without consequence.

So to Autumn, we apologize.