Nobody Asked Us...
You Must Love It!
n an admirable attempt to provide a public service to students and to make professors generally more accountable, the ASUO Executive has completely dropped the ball. This term marks the publication of the first ever ASUO-sponsored professor evaluation booklet. The booklet compiles the marks professors received from students at the end of each term.
The booklet presents an alphabetical listing of professors, the classes they taught this term (sometimes denoted by "???") and a rating on a scale of one to ten. The list one long, gray, retina-wrenching block of text that completely defies any and all possibility of being readable. Even though the booklet is also victim to other problems such as two printings with the same mistake on the cover as two printings with the same mistake on the cover as a first attempt we can only assume that the evaluation booklet will get better.
Two Tears in a Bucket, Mutherfuck It
After years of moaning about fiscal irresponsibility in the ASUO, the Commentator's own intrepid editor, Mark Hemingway, can finally do something about it. He was recently elected to the Programs Finance Committee as the representative from the programs council. Despite some interesting opposition all around, he was elected to the seat with an overwhelming majority, thanks largely to the support of several of his fellow masons placed in key student government positions. But rather than crying over the fact he wasn't supported unanimously, the Heminator pledges to be fair, honorable and open to input (take that last suggestion as you will). However, even though he won't make any promises, if your student group wants more money next year, getting him loaded the night before your hearing couldn't hurt now could it?Apple-Scented Revelations
So I was taking a piss the other day in the EMU and I came upon a moment of clarity. I have the power to stop the rapture in my hands. All those nights - laying awake in fear of the day that corpses would come out of the ground and fly towards the heavens while their rotting flesh fell back towards the ground - I've had the power and I didn't even know it. Suddenly, as a result of my revelation, the future seemed brighter, the economy seemed stronger, and my soul was at ease in the knowledge that I had the power to control eternity in my hands. Wait! What do you mean...Things to Do
-Give a cheery top o' the morning to that guy in the stall across from you furtively avoiding your gaze.-Mercilessly pound anybody caught tagging our new newspaper boxes.
-Demand more from student government.
-Send money to POB 30128 Eugene, OR 97403.