Spew
On Bad Craziness
First, he hated football--he refused to watch football. And then I cooked really good sausage, which I prize, and he disdained that: vegetarian. Here in my house comes this adder, this asp. And he just persisted to soil and insult the best parts of the book. It's a miracle I didn't fucking stab him with a fork.--Hunter S. Thompson, on why cult filmmaker Alex Cox didn't get to direct Fear and Loathing.
In walks Hunter wielding two cattle prods. With serious voltage going up and down. A wand of electricity. You could see it, crackling up. He's not a disappointment at all.
--Johnny Depp on meeting Hunter S. Thompson for the first time. We'll make it out to Woody Creek someday...
On Pro-Duh
How do you spell A$B$O$R$T$I$O$N?
From a poster promoting the newly-founded campus Pro-Life Alliance. Hmmm... could that be A$B$O$R$T$I$O$N?
On C.R.E.A.M.
Microsoft's Ideology Reinforces Capitalism
--Headline in the Student Insurgent. Really? Microsoft capitalist? You've exposed their secret. Shhhhhhhh.
Ani is a great modern orator.
--From a review of Ani Difranco's new album in the Insurgent. Oh, modern orator--for a second there I thought we might be comparing her to Protagorus or Corax of Syracuse.
On Don't Touch Me There
No means stop. Yes means go. Question mark means I don't know.
--From an instructional video for kids. Feel the burn, baby. Feel the burn.
On Giving Up
I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
--Homer Simpson. No special election for him. He rode the wave once and no longer wants any more action. Seriously, Homer's done.
On Soon We Will Own You
There are a lot of people claiming to have ADD... some are out to milk the system.
--From an article in the Oregon Voice about Attention Deficit Disorder. Yes, just ask Dr. K about how you can retroactively change grades.
We here at the Oregon Voice are sacrificing our grade point averages and social lives to bring you the University of Oregon's most popular magazine.
--OV Publisher Rob Elder. How many goddamn times do we have to tell you to shut the hell up with this best magazine crap? Don't make us bring the smack down, bitch. That's it--I'm calling that ad in the back of Soldier of Fortune.
On O_P__G
If I wanted to give money to off-campus politicians, I would go to the Silver Dollar Club and give it to them in person.
--Kyle Swanson. We wonder what he might possibly be talking about...
On Black Sabbath
[Toni] Morrison is a terrific storyteller... her writing evokes the joyful richness of life.--From Newsday on Song of Solomon. We would wholeheartedly agree with this review had Newsday been talking about anyone else. Also, Ozzy is the Preacher.