Another Pespective

I Hate Hate

When maggots chew away at your rotting flesh, rest assured that a man exists who doesn't believe in your pain and makes mad libs out of your misery.

For this special hate-filled issue, I decided to go around and ask people for their views on hate. It's interesting from a psychological perspective to note that most everyone I talked to definitely had something they hated, yet surprisingly few were able to express their hate concisely in wods. Each paragraph that follows is a vignette of hateful spew that was graciously directed my way by friends. Some are philosophical, some are vitriolic. We even have a few hate-diatribe games that you can play at home with friends or by yourself. In any case, the passages thave been left uncredited to protect the guilty and anyone who feels the need to direct comments (hateful or otherwise) about anything in this article may e-mail me and I will be sure to pass along the comments. So without further ado, here are several "Another Perspectives" on Hate:

• So, you want to know what I hate, do you? Well, I hate you, you slimy son-of-a-bitch. Yes, you and your smarmy holier-than-thou attitude. You really sicken me. I would like nothing better than to see you die a horrible and painful death. I envision you embroiled in nests of fire ants tortured by black burns. Slow, painful tortures designed to reveal the black, ugly underbelly of your soul. I want to round up every person, every thing, that you have ever loved and has ever loved you and make you watch them be destroyed as they gawk in horror at the hideous being you have become. I want to hear women and children wail and scream at the unimaginable sight of the depths of your fall. I want to see grown men weep at the thought of the complete destruction of your body and mind. I want to see you beg for a forgiveness which you know will never be yours. I want to see you admit to horrors unspoken and blaspheme all you hold holy. And when it is all said and done, I will merely laugh at your pain and chuckle as I walk away, because I really, really hate you.

• I can't really say that I hate much of anything. I find that hate takes up too much of my energy. Mostly I get very irritated and then resolve either to stay irritated or I forget and everything is back to normal. Staying angry is very difficult. I think it's because I'm too easily distracted. I want to stay angry. I plan out future interactions in my head, but when the time comes, I usually have forgotten what I was going to do and just muddle along. The closest I have ever come to sustained anger, hate, I think is when I write someone out of my life. There have been a few people who I have decided I do not want to interact with any longer in any meaningful way. For those people I set up a little program that screens out emotional reactions, practices superficial interactions, and generally dismisses their existence. That, I suppose, is a very cold sort of hate. It isn't emotive. It isn't consuming. And it is also, perhaps, subject to change. After awhile I forget exactly why I chose to dismiss someone from my life, but those little mental post-it notes remind me that I am supposed to ignore their existence. Not very soulful, but it's easy and effective. It seems pretty petty, but I guess I take the low-cost, low-maintenance approach to hate.

• I hate people. Well, not all peole--just a rather significant number of them. This appears to be a common complaint these days, perhaps even cliche, but it's true all too often. Most of my friends have, in the last week, referred to someone that they hate, or stated that they, too, hate people in general. This has presented an interesting conundrum, in that I have a tendency to hate people who whine about things they hate, and hating your friends is bad news. I don't have any really good reason for hating people, but then again, few people do. I suppose it relates to a certain amount of societal influence; hate breeds more hate, expecially if it's irrational, and there's plenty of it going on these days. I try not the be a stereotypical Antisocial Young Person, butI listened to the Dead Kennedys too much in high school to be considered entirely happy with the world. Even aside from the external influences toward hatred (insert psychobabble here), I find myself becoming more and more hostile within my own brain. It was a bit depressing, just recently, to do some soul searching and find a crabby old man. On the other hand, it gives me something to do. Besides people, I don't hate much. It's a lot of work to hate things, especially passionately, which is the only way that makes much sense. I always prefer to do things well, and half-assed hatred is a waste of time.

• Mad Lib I
  I hate _______!!! (Plural Noun) Why do I hate it? Because _______ (Name) told me to hate it. I hate with such a passion that _______ (Building on Campus) seems insignificant when compared to my hate!!! In three words, my hate can be described as _______ (Adjective that Describes Any Kind of Liquid), _______ (Color), and _______ (Adjective).

• Hate is such a simple thing. The things that one hates can swiftly change from one instant to another. One can hate economy class seats on airplanes, hot classrooms on sunny days, teachers who eagerly track down non-attentive students. These things are transitory, however, there but for a second, and in the next you have already shifted your hate onto another object. Look at it in this fashion: your mind is composed of three or four bins at any given time and may be filled with thoughts of food, sex, beer and/or hate. At any given time each bin in your mind is occupied with a thought. So in order to go on to another thought, be it lustful or otherwise, something that currently something that currently occupies an existing mind bin must be dumped. So in order to hate something for a lengthy period of time, a bin must be solely dedicated to this purpose. Through a logical process of deduction, can one see that hatred breeds stupidity by the sole means of depriving one of what amounts to one cylinder of few in a very small bio-electrical engine?!?

• Mad Lib II
  I hate _______ (ASUO Official). They really make me want to _______ (Bodily Function) all over. I just wish I could take a _______ (Noun) and _______ (Verb) their _______ (Body Part) off. I can't believe we elected those _______ (Derogatory Phrase). Well, I think I'll go drink some _______ (Beverage) and _______ (Beverage) and polish my _______ (Noun).