Run for the Border

Friday, September 29, 1995. Governor of California Peter Wilson expectedly announces his withdrawal from the Republican Presidential race. This came as no shock nor surprise to a political junkie like myself; Wilson's campaign had been staggering like a Lysol bum weeks before he even announced he was running. By the time of his coming out party, the conservative wing of his own party was already condemning his candidacy, citing his promise not to run while being re-elected just the preceding November.

Nonetheless, it marked the departure of the standard bearer for the anti-immigration forces. Sure, Pat Buchanan espouses the "only those who are here now can be Americans" rhetoric as well, but no one really gives him much of a chance. He's like the old drunk in the bar murmuring to everyone that he's going to kick their ass if they don't buy him a drink.

Buchanan's rhetoric, though much more insipid and callow than Wilson's, was of less impact. Buchanan supporters generally have one of three traits: a circular family tree, bad teeth and a penchant for banjo music--or they may appear otherwise normal, but consider Marge Schott a great humanitarian. Not that Pat Buchanan himself isn't a bright man, nor is his campaign rhetoric irrelevant or worthless. In fact, I find much of Buchanan's musings on the complete collapse of social mores and values to be on the money, but to borrow from Mark Russell, his campaign is merely an extension of the 1992 Republican National Convention speech, though I prefer it in the original German myself.

Wilson's campaign ran on a seamy and much more innocuous level. On the surface, Wilson's anti-illegal immigrant policy heralded in Proposition 187 made sense, taking into account the alleged cost of providing welfare services to non-taxpayers. However, a brief outbreak of cholera or whooping cough among the illegal population would quickly put a damper on the supposed savings of denying medical services.

Putting the debate of these concerns aside, my difficulty with the anti-immigrant/anti-illegal rhetoric is more in the sentiment of those who support these measures. These people tend to lean toward this dogma: the immigrants are taking all the jobs, and we should halt immigration until the unemployment rate falls below 3-5%. These arguments, beyond their infantile nature, fail the test of simple economic theory.

Being a student of Economics, I've read the writings of Thomas Malthus and David Ricardo, in which their relative discourses on immigration and population have come into focus. (These two gentlemen were 18th century economic philosophers who coined the theory of the iron law of wages and did in-depth study of human capital, respectively). I've spent a good deal of time studying both human capital theory and the politics of immigration.

Advocates of closing the nation to immigration in order to achieve lower unemployment conveniently avoid researching the torturous effects this would have on inflation (in the end it only worsens the problem by creating an effect of the economy chasing its tail. For more details take EC 370, or talk to Professor Siegel).

Furthermore, these folks don't want to accept that in many cases those unemployed when the rate is below 5% are rarely willing to work and would blame the Pope, the Tri-lateral Commission or even extra-terrestrials disguised as world leaders for their inability to find gainful employment. As a quotient of these factors, I've been led to one unequivocal solution: we need to allow unlimited immigration.

OK, what did Harrison bring back from Amsterdam this summer, and where can I get some? Sorry, no drugs in this one. The only problem with allowing more immigration is that we accord citizens and resident aliens so many "rights," coupled with the fact that too many people can get their citizenship too easily, i.e., birth.

I propose a Constitutional amendment allowing the stripping of citizenship from anyone who becomes a perpetual leech on society. All you 13th street Phish-heads with your feeble minds and lousy upbringing by parents who worried more about getting their corner office, new BMW, feeling good about doing "their part" in the sixties and finding a bulk rate on cocaine: They failed to instill your worthless ass with any work ethic. You've lacked the self-awareness to realize that things that come easily are rare, and can only be sponged off the endeavors of others.

Time after time, you see some Clem Inbred whining about how all the goddamned (insert your favorite scapegoat nationality) are taking all the jobs. An ugly secret of Prop 187 was its support from the black community. I was in a hospital in Los Angeles one afternoon, and overheard a black man, leaning against his mop speaking to two black nurses. The man said he was voting for Prop 187 because "them damn Chinamen and Mexicans is takin' all the jobs." The two nurses broke out laughing and one exclaimed "Why you care, you don't work none anyway... You ain't even working right now, and Xavier just finished the whole fourth floor while you just been standing there."

It is a common complaint that at any fast food place, convenience store or in any taxi, the help can't speak English. You'll then see some worthless white asshole blaming his inability to find gainful employment on immigrants, saying they've taken all the jobs.

From the low paying service sector, to engineering, accounting and medicine, immigrants who have these positions have earned them.

Question: How many US born citizens will you find working two jobs while going to night school and getting an engineering degree?

How many Red, White and Blue Americans will you find bitching as they go to buy two cases of Hamms that they couldn't understand the Pakistani at the counter, while they watch WWF on their soon to be repossessed satellite dish?

I've often made the statement: If I were running a business, I'd be highly unlikely to hire a white person without an education. Mainstream white America has truly become a nation of whiners. Whining we don't want to work, go to class or study. We even whine that a college education costs too much. Boy, it's just too much to improve your earning power by a potential 400%.

Meanwhile, we allow some pundit like Pete Wilson or Pat Buchanan to stand up and say we need to close the borders until all "real Americans" find jobs.

Real Americans are the ones that have worked their asses off to get where they are, and then worked harder to stay. They are people who have chosen to adopt this country as their own, and don't take it for granted as their birthright. This nation was founded on the principle the you are endowed with three inalienable rights: life, liberty and the right to pursue individual happiness within the boundaries of the law.

Beyond those inalienable rights, the rest must be earned. You don't have the right to an education, you are given a privilege to take advantage of it. You have no right to a car, a house, beer, weed or whatever pulls your chain. Get off your ass and earn it, and if in the process of trying to earn it, you find yourself being outworked by some fellow from Guatemala, Kiev, Romania or Calcutta, then take your licks and keep trying. They're either smarter than you, or they are outworking you. An immigrant comes here with no advantage over you, except your own laziness, apathy and sloth.

Harrison Lynch is a staff writer for the Oregon Commentator