On Booty Call
I just had a kid, can you tell?
-Alleged remarks of a call girl from a local escort service as she
lay naked and spread eagle on a living room floor. It was hard to
tell at first, but after careful focusing, a critical clue was the
umbilical cord scraping the floor.
Can you go out in my car and get my cowboy hat and tassels? They’re
right behind the baby seat.
-Alleged call girl again. Sadly, two of those three items were used
in the sex show. The baby seat was one of them.
On And Juice
A few years ago I got a letter offering to let me join the AARP. I
thought, 'Well, if I can save on gin, why not?'
-J-school Prof Duncan McDonald. It’s nice to know that being an
alcoholic will get you farther in the journalism world than just the
OC’s board of directors.
I think there are so many other forces that combine alcohol and sex
that advertising is relatively minimal.
-J-School Prof. Charles Frazier. Hey buddy, you’re telling us!
See also: Booty Call.
On Slackers
There’s Peter Jacobsen down on the field, freeloading again.
-Broadcast legend Keith Jackson during the Stanford game. It was
true, Jacobsen was leaving with all those little shampoos and pillow
mints that Autzen Stadium is known for. No word on whether the golfer
hi-jacked any free Nikes.
I find it amazing that Mayor Torrey, in all of his rotundness, could
find his way to New York City to march in their Columbus Day Parade.
-Sociology professor Chuck Hunt. Ahh, there’s that constant of
liberal ideology, tolerance for those who look different than you.
Chuck, you’re a beacon of integrity and kindness that we can all
learn from.
On Jihad
Hey bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass.
-New York firefighter during “The Concert for New York City” on
VH-1. No word on any plans for bin Laden to accept the invitation.
To me, every fundamentalist Muslim, no matter how peaceable in his
own behavior, is part of a murderous movement and is thus, in some
fashion, a foot soldier in the war that bin Laden has launched
against civilization.
-Daniel Pipes, columnist at the New York Post. So tell us how you
really feel Daniel.
On Dope and Dopes
If you looked at enough Beatles albums and smoked enough dope you
would have believed that Paul McCartney was dead.
-Prof. Charles Frazzer in Principles of Advertising. Of course, if
you’d seen him on “The Concert for New York City,” you’d still
leave with the same impression.
Beer!
-Frat guys response to three separate questions in ELDA 407
leadership class. Aghh... the greek system. Where would be on the
grade curve without them?
On Martial Arts
But a well thought out protest is as rare as a kickboxing Quaker.
-Bill O’Reilly, in his Worldnetdaily column. We don’t know
Bill, our sources tell us George Fox was extensively trained in
Muay Thai.
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