Editorial To Whom It May Concern. A Few Words of Wisdom From Those Without A Clue... By Pete R. Hunt

There is a strange vibe on campus this year— and it has nothing to do with the World Trade Center, the miraculous USC victory or the three pints of Fat Tire I just topped off with shot of Jagermeister. Rather, the feeling I’m getting walking down Thirteenth towards Starbucks is something of ambivalence. People don’t seem like they’re ready to be here yet. Minds are still stuck back home with mom’s home-cooked apple pie, Dad’s lazy boy and Grandma’s dentures. I can’t help but let my own thoughts drift back to the lake on one of those beautiful autumn nights romantics write poems about. I’m laying in the back of my old Ford pickup, “Paradise City” blasting out of the stereo, Amy pressed tightly up against me as we watch the last rays of sunlight drip over the hills that line the valley. Wait a minute... what am I talking about? That wasn’t my summer at all! I spent a good part of August in a fire camp in Eastern Oregon, waiting to get dispatched to a lightning strike. The only thing pressing up against me at night was Pablo when he wanted to share a sleeping bag. Man, that blew. Get with it people, it’s October and like it or not that means we’re all back in the same class rooms, getting the same recycled syllabuses (Class participation is 10% of the grade? You don’t say!), and listening to the same overpaid GTFs try to justify their absurd new healthcare demands. Hell, you know the drill. If you find it hard to readjust to a school schedule, take heart, you’re not alone. Your best move now is to start drinking early, and by early I mean 10am, not happy hour at Rennie's. If a double latte won’t put a smile on your face in the morning, then a sip of grandpa’s whiskey surely will. Don’t think of it as giving in; think of it as giving up. Another smart move on your part would be to read the Oregon Commentator. We here at the Commentator do our best to provide you fifteen issues a year of all out goodness. We’re a little crazy, we admit it! But who can keep a sane mindset when they have to listen to year’s worth of liberal whining in the classroom, in the Emerald, and in the Coleman tents that periodically set-up in front of Johnson Hall. A lot of people ask me what the Oregon Commentator is all about. Let me try and sum it up. Remember Alex Keaton—portrayed by a young Michael J. Fox— on Family Ties? We do. If the young conservatives of the eighties needed a role model, they found one in Alex, complete with the Reagan poster and Wall Street Journal subscription. He was an eighties capitalist of the best sort, a compassionate conservative before his time. Plus, he got to stare at Justine Baitman all day, even is she was his sister. We’d like to think that if Alex Keaton were going to school here, he’d be working for the Oregon Commentator. Of course, he would have to become something of an obsessive-compulsive, punk rock idolizing alcoholic first, but that’s beside the point. The fact-of-the-matter is that we at The Commentator try to provide a forum for an intellectual debate on issues relevant to campus. We don’t like Ralph Nader and Noam Chomsky, but we’re fans of David Horowitz, P.J. O’Rourke and Hunter S. Thompson. We don’t like people telling us what to do, and that’s why we don’t like big government. We’re fans of individualism, which is the theoretical opposite of any form of socialism. We believe we should be able to do what we want, say what we want, and ingest whatever substance pleases us free from the watch of the law. We don’t think half of our paycheck should be stolen from us, and furthermore we don’t think the government should involve itself in the redistribution of wealth. These are not popular or prominent points of view at the University of Oregon. That’s why we’ve formed our own magazine, much like the lions forming Voltron, to wage war on pork barrel spending, the ASUO, and other bad ideas that don’t seem to go away. We’re libertarians, just like Jesse Ventura, minus the ego and steroids. So read on, learn, absorb, puke it all up, and start at it again. Let your soul be the lantern on this dark, dark path through life. And try not to interact with too many people; it can only lead to heartbreak... Sincerely, Pete R. Hunt Editor-In-Chief