Nobody Asked Us, But...
OC Emerald Watch
The Ol' Dirty Emerald is back on the good ship goof-up once again. This week, the ODE has managed to have the same headline regarding the Jodi Runge incident as the Register-Guard (Runge Era Comes to An End), put the wrong year on two issues, and most frighteningly, published the drawing below by Giovanni Salimena. The drawing accompanied an editorial about "rape culture" and the evils of women being taught to be victims. Ummm... this drawing is obviously of a woman in a position of victim-hood. Way to mix messages, guys. On top of that, the drawing looks like Jodi Runge being raped by the razor cock from Seven. And that's not an image anybody needed.
Poll: What was the Giovanni Salimena thinking when he drew this picture?
24%
If I eat another eighth of mushrooms, I'll be able to paint this whole thing with kitchen condiments.
18%
Mother, why do you torment me so? Mother? Mother?
13%
I wonder what Jessica Blanchard is doing tonight?
36%
Is there a market for snuff comics?
42%
Rainbows and Sugar Drops
21%
What the hell is wrong with me?
Dirty, Dirty Crack Whores
On Friday, April 27th, Norm MacDonald blessed a large crowd at Mac Court with his own special blend of drug, death and homosexual humor. Norm seamlessly intertwined such diverse topics as acid flashbacks, sodomy and plenty of whore jokes. All in all, sheer brilliance.
The real fun, though, occurred later in the night when Norm toured the Eugene bar scene. Word spread quickly of Norm's presence at Taylor's and Doc's Pad, but a caravan of celebrity-chasing drunks couldn't seem to catch him. Finally, late in the evening, there was a verified Norm sighting at, lo and behold, the Silver Dollar Club. The roommate of an OC staffer swears to have seen Norm enjoying a drink and a lap dance. There was a brief exchange of pleasantries, a head nod and a flirtatious encounter between the two parties.
For the record, though the bounty of whores was plentiful, there was no visible crack smoking.
A Rock Star & War God
You may have heard of Jeff "Skunk" Baxter if you are a fan of Steely Dan and/or the Doobie Brothers because he was a guitarist for both groups in the 1970's, but what's most impressive is his new gig: advising America's armed forces on the issues of National Missile Defense. The college dropout-turned-rock star apparently enjoys a greater command of the issue than some military leaders who have served for over two decades and finds time, when not playing with Rod Steward, Julio Iglesias and Barbara Streisand, to push for a strong missile defense system.
So basically, this guy was in one band named after a dildo, one band named after a joint and spends his time thinking long and hard about the end of the world. Sounds like our kind of guy. Now maybe some hippies will take a cue from him and find a way artistic and productive.
Things to do:
- Call the Health Center, see about that rash.
- Pick up an issue of the Oregon Voice while you still can
- Force all your players to give you a hug
- Master art of dancing with crutches
- Call Woody regarding wack dime-bag full of stems and seeds
- Go buy a drink for Jenna Bush
OC Shout-Outs
- Dave Depper: Castle MegaStore? Where have we heard the idea before? Hmmm...
- 2Pac: Still alive?
- Safeway Cashiers: Do you card every 26-year-old who comes through the line, or just the cute ones?
- Blow: Good movie, good drug and a good way to spend a Tuesday.
- J202: If you know what this is, that's enough.